Again

Background
It's really quite an honor to be able to post in the same month Maretu, Deco*27, Wowaka and Hachi- all my favorite producers. Even if it's tough being Gumi during the Mikupocalypse. I hope you enjoy!"Again" is an original song by Crusher-P featuring GUMI. It was originally sung by utaite Araki, who's YouTube upload has received over 1 million views as of the GUMI version's upload a year later. GUMI's version received a brand new instrumental.

The song tells a story of a person who dislikes who they are, so they act as someone else. Until that seems more like them, and their self-hatred begins to make them hate that, too. They blame none of these personalities for going away, when they say things that they don't mean, don't mean what they say. When they try to be someone they aren't, when they stop realizing who they were. They believe that said personalities move on. Again, again, again. They continuously get attached to their new selves and are happy for a short while, "When it's good, it's so good," ultimately learning to hate their new self, "When it's bad, it's SO BAD." "What am I supposed to say/When I end up driving everyone away?" Who should they be, when they ultimately lose themselves every time they change. Their old selves are burning, dying. Robbing them, every time, of their happiness. And they're the one with the lighter. "Every inch of me is charred./God what happened to my heart?" Every old version of them has burned. They want to know what happened to their original self, they want it back. But it's never coming back. "And I'm not okay with that." They never should have let themselves get attached to any of their former versions. They knew that, in the end, it would only make them feel worse, like it has, again, again, again. What's happened has happened. Their old selves are gone. And no matter how much they change, how they feel never will. Everyday, they fight for their original self, who they can tell is still buried in there somewhere under the carnage. To take control of their life and become, again, who they once were. They feel like they've forgotten who they are, or at least who they once were. They felt like they were slamming hard against the ground. And, confused, responded incorrectly for the situation. They should've known when to stop. The rest of the song repeats things I've already explained, specifically to drill them into your head.

In addition, the video itself contains an image with a person standing between two other versions of themselves. These likely represent depression (left) and anxiety (right). In accordance with my explanation, the lighter may represent all her self hatred from these two.

Another viable explanation of the song is that it is sung by the figures representing depression and anxiety, who have found a new version of the person, which they cannot get rid of, and it is causing them to question their actions.

This song is featured on the album CONCIENTIA.