User blog:Angel Emfrbl/A few things I'd like to admit...

Nearly 1 o'clock in the morning. Got a oppointment with the counsellor over my nan's death back in December. Been bothering me the last few days because my mother got the will information. I'm making a pigsear over explaining anything Vocaloid related right now and honestly... I don't feel like dealing with anything serious stuff related to this matter. Might take a break for a week next week to get things together, I've got too much on my mind.

My landlady told me this evening she woke up twice in front of a train at my local train station back when I first moved in with her. The train never hit her and its just as well! She is feeling better because she found out her husbands death in 2009 was owed to a doctor's refusal to treat a patient because of past dealings with him and her husbands boss. Long story short, doctor married her husband's boss' daughter, the boss paid for the new doctor's surgrey and as soon as it was built he buggered off with a nurse and left the guy with the daughter and family a debt he refused to pay off.

I think she needs to stop telling me these things she scares me. I mean... Sucide isn't something thats foreign to me, having gone through my own hell, but its not soething I like talking about.

Normally I'd not make such clumsey mistakes as I have been recently with technical stuff like Phonetics, but honestly and truthly... I'm just not up to technical stuff at all. Instead of checking up combinations I did a word off the top of my head and couldn't figure out how it was suppose to work. Slip ups embarresising, but its just reminding me why I need a break for a while. I also am not happy with that voicebank library template I couln't make work. I was making templates at the One Piece wikia for 4 years...

Plus, my landlady is pushing me to do artwork again, but I want to retake my music to get a refresher course to help me handle Vocaloid better. Kind of feed up from sluggishly trying to work things because my knowledge is seevral years out of date. Plus right now all my Vocaloids are acting as are references. But with Vocaloid 3 out and no money to purchase it? I'm not much help talking about things at all. I know I wasn't consider ing retiring from beaucrat until the end of the year, but I'm starting to think its best I just let it go in a months time.

Also I'm starting to become disinterested in Vocaloids, not because I don't like them anymore, but because I'm sick of the fact this is a fandom where the number of people who don't know enough about the Vocaloids is a lot less then thoughs who know. Right now, Vocaloid feels like a broken record. "Whats a Vocaloid?", "Who are the Vocaloids", "Lets talk about Servent of Evil". Its the narrow mind of the majority of th fans that gets me. I did read sme youtube comments on Calicum Miku as well that made me just go "Good grief".

With the One Piece fandom, at least you can quote chapters as examples... ¬_¬