User blog:Angel Emfrbl/Tired of the same old

"I get it, you don't like long posts certain VO members, I get you have no tolerance for someone struggling with dyslexia. But honestly, I don't need to be targeted.  Surely you guys know to either ignore me or just put up with me."

And this is how I feel right now. So I'm doing a mini-rant over this. While VO members that are doing it, are not the first to critic my poor communication skills, they are proving recently to be uber frustrating. I literally am struggling right now coping as illness means every day is a "bad day" and I know whatever I write is really bad.

But SERIOUSLY, do people know what this sort of thing is like? Its like having a monkey on your back you CANNOT remove, some days he behaves, some days he doesn't. But he is always there. I'm nearly 30 and at times I've got the communication skills of a 13 year old. And if you don't like it tough, because just as I've had to get used to this, you've got to get used to the fact I won't be able to do anything about it either.

I guess I get upset at times about it. Today I wrote something that took more then one post to get a concept over and I got two members on my back for it. A third member picks on a post because its more then a few paragraphs. God dammit, I'm TRYING, okay, is TRYING not enough for some?!?!

You try writing entire posts and points when you can't figure out how to put them to paper!!!

Do you critics know what its like to be here on the net since 1998 and CONSTANTLY get yourself in trouble for simple GRAMMAR AND SPELLING MISTAKES that you can't help. The number of arguments I've had to get myself out of is crazy and only one forum, a certain Beyblade forum, is the only place people cared to give me space to get myself sorted. I start wiki-editing to improve my skills. But this last few years, my condition is getting worst and now I'm more and more frustrated over my in abilities more then I was 5 years ago.

Doy ou know what its like to be accused in 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005,2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014 of things your not, such as being 13 years old, when your twice that age or more? Look, I get people are sick of it, but you can ignore me and I'm understanding of that. I'd rather be ignored then insulted at this point because I'm COMPLETELY at the mercy right now of this problem. And yes its getting to me, yes its upsetting me.

Its why I got easily made redundant at the One Piece wikia, because spending x3 as long as everyone else editing meant that I couldn't keep up with them.

No I'm not writing this to gather support, I don't want some random white knights defending me and all that crap - this does more harm then good and I don't care for it as I've criticized others in the past over it. I'm venting to get this out of my system and to be honest, this is for my personnel self not for everyone else.

Now I've got this out of my system, it looks like I'm going to take a few days break from VO forums because my fuse blew over a particular member who I once tried to talk over PM... To discover their ignorant and inconsiderate and wouldn't understand what I'm talking about.

Good grief, for months I haven't brought this up at all, now this last two months, I've found myself just having to remind people I struggle with a problem like this. I prefer it when I don't have to bother mentioning things like this, it feels so awkward mentioning it all. But there becomes a point where I have to say "enough is enough" and I feel the need to finally speak up for myself and stand my ground.

I'm nto a nasty person, I'm not a "know it all" (which was the subject of one of my recent posts) and I'm not unaware that I'm facing a heap of criticism over stupid things like post length. Does it matter if I say 5 sentances or 5 words.

For the record, the reason I make long posts, is because I got used to this style early net life. These days people don't always make long posts. I got used to it because people used to be more in-depth, the older net was more inhabbited by "nerds/geeks" and competing was hard. I had to expand on my views because beind dyslexic, I struggled to get my point across in 5 words most of the time leaving me to have to make a longer post to try and get the others to understand. Eventually, people used to get used to me and some even had common curtsey. The poitn is, they GOT IT and understand why I did things, and since a lot of them were expansive in their opinions anyway, it didn't matter.

I adore wiki because really... Wikias are one of the few places on the net a dyslexic person can feel content with posting without someone biting your head off for simply misunderstandings and the fact others correct your mistakes means you feel a little more confident. In forums, such as VO... Its a lot harder.

This is going to be the only blog post on this subject... I'm just disappointed with the modern net at times.

When you have dyslexia, it snot uncommon to hate yourself for having it and really. Thats enough, I have trouble in real life communicating... I don't want this to leak into the net because, hoenstly... I use the net for escapism.