Board Thread:Off-Topic Discussion/@comment-6433273-20171231161124/@comment-53539-20180207160638

I'm ill at the moment and feeling down, depression kicking in. Been dealing with it most of my life. Mostly to do with my father. Been living in a rented room for the last 6 and half years. Tried every path to make certain things work, reality is they still haven't. Gave up art two years ago after I went back to college and found no money to live off of.

Not going to lie, life finds a way to kill the mood.

Earlier today my landlady had a attempt to talk about what will happen when I die and who was going to fund my funeral costs. I just said "dig and hole and dump me in it". Its how I feel about the idea of talking about things that will occur when I die. I know someone has to foot the bill for my funeral but honestly? I'm selfish for saying it, but I'm not going to care once I'm dead anyway. I just don't want to talk about someone at 33 years old when I could live for another 40 years. I know if I want kids there is another about a decade and a half time left. That is my focus right now.

Se also asked me if I'm going to do more artwork and finish off this picture I started two summers ago... I have no interest in finishing it off, I'm done with art. I know I should have done music at university, and that's all that matters. I also know I should have done graphics fine art, left home as soon as uni ended and found a axe to cut off my father who was a tyrant who kept me prisoner in his home by building circumstances that made it impossible to leave home. None of that matters.

When I die I'll be surprised if anyone even notices "Angel Emfrbl" on a wikia editing history. I'm okay with that too. Honestly? I don't want to talk for damn half on hour of things that I don't give a dam. I don't even see the point to a will because, I have nothing of value to worry over. If I die before my mother she'll just horde my stuff she can't sell and sell everything else. If she dies first I have a hoarders house to clear out. Either way, I just don't want to talk about death, money and things that are going to annoy me like that. ¬_¬