User blog comment:Angel Emfrbl/Some feed back/@comment-26341692-20151124175004/@comment-53539-20151125141659

I'm not bored of it... I enjoy doing it... I just don't know. Its given me a lot of mixed feelings this year. I'm pretty much useless at everything else, so a doubt on if I should continue is a doubt on my own self worth. >_<

Its also hard because at highschool I'd have been one of those "work hard, get results" students who believe good grades would get them somewhere. Never was the A-grade type student, so I used to push to make up forit. Wasn't good at studying and had problems at home preventing study, so I'd spend as muh time t school as I could. If I was permitted to spend time afterschool, I'd have done that too But my father collected me from school so "I'm not hanging around for you" was thrown at me. And it took and hour and a half to walk home. In the winter... That wasn't feasible at the time. He just didn't believe in things like studying and homework. In fact... considering my parents were divorcing t the time, he only kept us to use us as carers later. The price was both me and my brother lost much chance in life.

I can only explain a fraction of what went down. People who criticise people in the sitution I was in up until over 4 years ago don't know how easy it is for this to happen. It started off subtle and by the time I had a break down... Hd gotten serious. First he painted my mother s villain who didn't care. She was selfish, always had been... But he put ideas in there that didn't exist, and being teenagers we kinda had the intelligence but lacked the experience to know better t the time. Of course, eventually I figured out everything and began to attempt to risk... But... I found myself unable to leave home just because it meant I'd hve only the clothes on my shoulders, I would was out on the streets with nothing not even my handbag and purse.

Didn't know y rights, didn't know who to turn to. I just gave up on art. For 4 years I did almost nothing. 2 Years before I left home I became very critical on him, I'd long figured out what was going on, was now with rights in hand. What prevented me was his blackmail and threats went up to 11. by the time I had my breakdown, things got to physical level and I have a few scars to prove it.

So this was the brick wall I've had to climb since and why I don't know if I have what it takes anymore to go forward. I'd have had him arrested, but he turned the story around and I was nearly arrested instead, despite not being the one who did anything wrong. He made up a story, the police believed him over me. This to me though was the break down, it was... A blackmail/threat too far. They left and he said "next time, I won't stop them." He was GOOD and CONVINCING lair. And my breakdown was over how EASILY the police believed him. My own brother gave a neutral side of the side, with nothing matching me or my father's versions.

It wasn't until few years ago I even though bout getting back into art... But I have so much doubt. ~I was surprised I picked my old style again.

I did photography in the 4 years missing, hence why there are a lot of random photos in my DA account. They replaced my inability to get involved in art for those missing years.:-/