User blog comment:TenshiAkari12/So... yet another boo-hoo worthy blog post./@comment-53539-20140613172952

I was lucky, I had one of my two grandmother's pass away when I was 27. I knew her a very long time, the hardest thing about though was suddenly her not being there to talk with and so forth. My other grandmother, away passed away 3 months before I was born so I never knew her.

Life has a funny way of making you forget things, the emotions stay, yeah, but you just go on. I did find, however, that the 2nd year of my grandmother who died when I was 27, a lot harder to handle then her funeral or first year anniversary. Its weird, but you can sometimes be hurt more by emotions many years later, then you can at the time of them occurring. It can take a mental trigger.

Both my grandfathers died within a year of each other when I was 8/9, so their memories are long since gotten over with. So I thought... Then on my grandmother's death I saw my uncle Richard, who at 40 was beginning to resemble his father a lot to the point he had the same rounded face developing. In his younger years my uncle looked less like my grandfather, so it was never a issue. But seeing his face, he was a spitting image of his father, it really made the memory of that particular grandfather sore, not because of the resemblance but because my uncle had grown to be quite grumpy over the years and my grandfather was so... Nice... The contrast of personalities is what made the memory sore.

As for the family getting along... Again, my grandfather's generation on my father's side of the family left everything a mess. My great, grandfather and great grandmother died suddenly (in between WW1 and WW2), leaving 8 children on their own. Since the eldest were young adults, they were left to look after the younger kids rather then putting them up for adoption. With consequences. *sigh* Kids raising kids, is a messy business, I know my grandfather ended up joining WW2 just to get away from his siblings. Either way as a result there were rumors and bickering in that generation, it tore all 8 children apart and split my family up. I have distant cousins I've never spoken to and lots of relatives I've never met.

And my mother's side of the family... 3 personalities, each unique and as different as they come. Result; bickering again. =_=

All I can say is chin up, take life as it comes and endure whatever pain life throws at you. These things happen and can't be helped, life goes on sadly and you have to learn to cope. I'm sorry for your loss, the saddest thing I've always found is that in a years time it will be less of a blow then it is now.

I can suggest lighting a candle (make sure its in a safe place, you don't want to burn your house down!), that I found helped me cope also with loss at times.