Tightrope

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"Sometimes, I live on the tightrope"

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"Tightrope" is an original English song, composed by Eyeris (Creep-P) and featuring Cyber Songman. It is part of his song series, MR. SAD BOY.

The song is about a tightrope walker at the CIRCO DE NEONS, named Felipe. Every day, before he would begin his act, he would have invasive thoughts that he hated and wanted gone--thoughts about his attraction towards men. Felipe hated that he was gay, and his thoughts about this would get worse, especially within nightmares that he would wake up in a cold sweat and crying from. He was unable to accept his sexuality, and thus went into a cycle of disbelief and anger. Because of his struggles, Felipe acted rather rudely towards others. This was especially true for his actions towards grown men, because he would be simultaneously repulsed and attracted to them, and then repulsed that he was attracted at all.

To get himself to concentrate, Felipe would often remove the safety net under his tightrope during practices, so that his thoughts were not of his feelings towards men, but of focusing on moving forward and avoiding falling to his death. However, when he was actually performing, he would keep the net underneath him, though his focused mindset stayed the same.

One day, after he finished practice, he met with Malique, the ringleader. He knew, for once, that he loved him, and was not actually repulsed by him or his attraction for him. His trust in the ringleader led him to believe that he would not be hurt by him. This was when Felipe finally accepted that he was gay, and decided that after that night's performance, he would tell him. However, halfway into his act, he looked out into the crowd to see Malique. While his heart fluttered at first sight, it would soon shatter when he saw that Malique was trying to instead woo a woman named Mary. In this moment of heartbreak, Felipe lost focus, misstepped on his tightrope, and fell, thinking that he failed after all he worked for.

Felipe was hopeful because of the safety net under the tightrope, but because he was focused on what he would say to confess his love to Malique when replacing the net, it was improperly placed. Thus, it snapped, and Felipe's fall continued until he smashed into the ground. He died on impact, but before he did he managed to utter his final words: "I'm sorry I ever loved you."