Board Thread:Off-Topic Discussion/@comment-25147000-20141019023013/@comment-30602727-20141111005054

My goldfish tried to commit suicide.

I was in the middle of replying to Angel, when I heard a "SPLOOSH!" and a slapping noise. I turn and was like "What the fuck was tha-" O_o  And I see a red orange thing flopping around on the floor and I screamed so loud for like two seconds and panicked and realized I was home alone, so I had no choice.

Got up, went over and took me two or three tries to scoop the damn thing up. I finally picked it up, the little slimy thing, and was about to drop him back in the bowl, when he flopped out of my hand and landed right on our plates that we never used. I tried to grab by his sides and he slipped in between the cups and plate, leaving only his tail for me to grab

I grabbed his tail with my fingers,he freaked out and flopped again and landed on a towel. The entire time I'm trying to grab him, all you could basically hear was me yelling, "WHAT THE FUCK!  I'M TRYING TO SAVE YOUR FUCKING LIFE, STOP FUCKING FREAKING OUT, JUST GET BACK IN THE BOWL, OMFG"

I ended up grabbing a paper towel and picked him up and dumped him back in the bowl.

Scrubbed my hands like 50 times, grabbed foil, poked holes in it and covered the bowl.

..... quite the adventure.