User blog:Angel Emfrbl/Shyness....

So I've been asked by someone outside of the vocaloid fandom why I don't like linking to my Deviant art account.

Well...

I left uni with a fine arts degree in 2007, I got a 2:2 grade when I really needed a 2:1 grade. I didn't get on with the course and I didn't like my tutors. I had one of the other pupils talk to me as though I was 12 years old for the full 3 years of the main BA hons course. I finally made her stop on the last day I saw her. Turns out she told everyone on our open show day that he was my fahter - he was my boyfriend and was 4 years older then me only...

And the last week I found out all the other pupils had been spreading rumours about me for 3 years... Which made me sad... My work was put in a gallery space that was out of sight of the general public, in short I was "hung below the line" as it were. So I left university feeling sorry for wasting 4 and a half years. I had a hard time, I was suffering issues at home that I couldn't escape from and the train journey to and fro uni was the only time I got peace from it all.

Especially the stuff to my work though... This left me feeling like I was wasting my time and it wasn't worth chasing the degree course. I couldn't produce anything my tutors liked so every session I spent showing off my work felt like I was wasting my time. Meanwhile others' on the course were getting praises for doing a lot less then I was putting into some of my pieces. And due to the stress at home, and the fact I was blackmailed to stay at university rather then staying on my own will and desires, I just had a bad time.

So I came out of university and just stopped showing off my work. Its taken until this year to consider showing stuff again. Right now I'm doing photography... But you know, when you do a course and you fail it, it makes you wish you did another course. I regret not doing music seriously since I'm in the vocaloid fandom now, even though I had the chance to do that instead of my arts degree.

So yeah... I'm not confident about showing my work, no doubt one or two of you have seen e responding on DA... I lack completely confidence though, so it takes a lot to make me desire to respond to things on DA.