Board Thread:Off-Topic Discussion/@comment-30602727-20160202181457/@comment-53539-20160308070257

@Evil, well I woke up at 3am and have been awake since... Its about 6:45 as I begin to write this... The emotions are high and have been since last night.

They go away over the course of the day, its mostly a hormone flux weakness. Guys don't understand what PMS is like. Your either ready to cry your heart out or rip someone's head off. I'm 31, I know the drill by now. For younger girls, it kinda more mysterious and unexpected so the mood swing often is more unnoticeable. Over time you get a better understanding of the "why" it occurs and know what to do due to experience.

About all that its really worth noting is that this is a particularly harsh swing into depression, so I ma not response for the next week in case what I suspect is true about the next few days. Normally I wouldn't even bother with mentioning anything like this, since its personnel embarrassment... But honestly I feel if I don't think I may need the time off I may be ready to launch rage at other editors, so this is kinda a warning. If I'm around; beware for the next week or so. :-/

Anyway, for the moment the crying depressive mood is pretty much in hold, so for *the moment* nobody has to fear. To be fair a lot of it has been numbed down because lack of sleep, so though the mood is *there* I can't really think too deeply about what is causing it.

I usually put it down to "punishment from God for not having a baby by the time I'm my age". But honestly... I don't want kids Saying that, I have a mother who is trying to get grandchildren and is wondering why out of 4 children she has gotten any yet. In my case I don't want a relationship right now as I'm in a bad place, my brother is waiting for my dad to die so he won't ruin relationships like he did to mine, my youngster half brother has given up on life and the elder of my the half-brothers has a girlfriend. She is trying to get me to look at guys, but the pressure isn't pushing me to look.

I know its funny to some, but really, a issue a "friend" at highschool had with me is I just ain't interested in having kids. She has 4... And wnts no more, but can't understand why I don't want 1. I've told my mother if I don't have a kid in the next 5 years, give up because I'm just not having one. As you age you encounter issues that weaken the health of any potential baby, its better to have one in your 20s then 40s. I'm not going to have a kid in my 40s or 50s (its possible in your 50s, but you can expect to go into menopause at this point any year so it unlikely). At 30 with only 2 relationships that went horribly miserable... I don't see me getting a BF any time in a hurry.

Besides I don't even consider myself "attractive", I'm unemployed and broke... I'm real potential mother-material... Yeah... Though to be fair, I've seen women become mother's under worst conditions. I grew up on a counsel estate (UK's "ghetto" areas pretty much, where housing is cheaply rented).

So yeah... My mood is really low and its all thanks to mother nature. I dared to take a extra citalopram last night - nothing. It'll pass in a day or two, then I might not be around for a week as I said... >_<