User blog:Angel Emfrbl/Oh... Oops...

So, today I went out and bought myself a whiteboard to put on the wall of my bedroom, marking all the days of the week for the next month.

Why do I need this? Because I forget things - a lot. I just logged onto the wikia; I can't remember what I logged on to do. Something I said I'd do in the last half an hour just slipped my mind.

Yeah I can look over comments and edits I made thankfully, but things like this urk me all the time. I can't remember what I said I'd do yesturday the day before, I remembered I said I'd do SOMETHING yesturday.

If you ever see me do random and unfinished projects, you know why it happens. This was, also, partly why I never finished the Miku Formula page originally, I giot busy with other projects and forgot about it, until the fandom started bitching and expressing their opinions on a unfinished page.

Yeah I have a bad memory; its getting better though. I went to the doctors last week and though my dyslexica was not documented, I finally after 7 years of waiting got told why I had it; due to the truma from over a decade of stress and mental bullying from my father it has caused me to have memory problems. The root of it? A selective memory that refuses to remember things that may hint at bad emotions. Its like when I talk about certain painful memories I suddenly develope tears for no reason. My previous two doctors though, didn't care, I got thrown on a ride trying to prove it. Now I know the root of the problem, I also know its not worth registering my dyslexica now. The problem is emotional left overs and this will heal with time.

The 29th of June, which is the friday marks both a year anniversy since I left home and escaped the hell my dad was putting me through and sadly the 6 months anniversary of my nan's death. As my mother said to the doctor, my nan's death left me with a lot of closure, since my nan got me in the state of tears on the phone numerous times.

Apart from that, well, I have a low blood pressure which causes me dizziness and all the wonders with standing up and feeling like part of you didn't stand up with you. Yeah the cure for this is pretty much "just drink lots of water and come back in 3 weeks time". :-/

I feel like I'm starting to get *somewhere* in life since 1) I hve my teacher certificate, 2) I feel overall happy. Stuck permamently on anti-depressants for liely the rest of my life, but happy overall. I don't come on-line anymore feeling bitter angry wanting to take down the entire net and anyone who steps in my way, I still have my moments. Ah, but us females are prone to random fits of hormones that make us go from relaxed to bitchy in 15 seconds flat.

Who knows, maybe next year I'll start looking for a boyfriend? Ah... Yeah... Except who wants a Christmas Cake? This is the problem with loosing 4 years of your life. ^_^'