Masochism

Background
"Masochism... is a very horrible thing to talk about, even worse to have."

- Author's comment

"Masochism" is a song featuring Chris by Desuka-P. It was made as a way for the producer to vent their feelings about their sever ,- the lyrics are reflection of themselves.

The lyrics contain self-harm themes and should be viewed at your own risk.

Lyrics
 Time to have another breakdown, for myself, who most enjoys it. ''Time to claim that I’m the victim. For the hundredth time, I’m proving nothing.'' Time to cry a thousand more tears. It’s pathetic, but I love it. Time to blame it all on myself, just like always.


 * My wounds, they cut me.
 * My fears, surround me.
 * My past, engulfs me.
 * (Stupid, Worthless, Burden, Fa▬ot)


 * All, of this pain.
 * Scars, that I gain.
 * Words, that I feign.
 * (It’s still not enough)

So, give me all your burdens and your woes. I’ll suffer through it, that’s just how it goes. I’m far too gone, just let me be. The pain I feel, is what I need.

It makes me happy, just to feel pain. No-one can help me, it’s all just in vain. So what if I’m a Masochist? At least I’m being honest.

It’s really okay, please don’t worry. It will only torture me more. Why do I like hurting myself? Can I really give an answer?

Unlike what you might think, I don’t wanna die. I just want to make my life dark, like the night sky.


 * My wounds, they cut me.
 * My fears, surround me.
 * My past, engulfs me.
 * (Stupid, Worthless, Burden, Fa▬ot)


 * All, of this pain.
 * Scars, that I gain.
 * Words, that I feign.
 * (It’s still not enough)

To those who want to help, just go away. Please, let me suffer through this anyway. Being happy, means agony. A Masochist, is who I see.

A smiling soul, with tears in his eyes. I’m much too worthless, it’s not a surprise. So what if I self-deprecate? Nobody else is hurt.


 * Voices in my head, they tell me “Keep On Hurting”.
 * Digging in my deprecating thoughts and worries.
 * All along, I’ve known it’s wrong.
 * But my innocence is all gone.


 * Let this end, I don’t want anymore.

Can I really call myself happy? With what I’ve done, it’s harder than it seems. I’ve had enough, of this torture. My Masochism will end here.

I’m ready to repair my self esteem. To get rid of this never ending dream. So what if the road will be hard? I’ll get through, in the end.


 * Aaaaaaah....

Time to stop my Masochism. It’s too toxic, now I’ll end it. Time to be better to myself. No more self-doubt, let’s give it my all.

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