User blog:CloverLeafNine/Sigh

I don't know what to pursue in the future.

I know, it's weird that I'm taking this out on a blog post on the wikia but at this point I'm just really tired and confused.

I think I'm only questioning this now because all my friends and acquaintances, they all know what they want to do in the future. What colleges they want to go, what they want to major in etc.

And then there's me.

I'm standing there like, "I have no idea what I want to do."

I don't even know where I want to go for college. Heck, I don't even know what I want to do next freaking year. I mean, I might have considered many things which consisted of things that can't gurantee me success. (like computer hardware engineer, 3d gaming, air force, etc. etc.)

But as I said, those don't gurantee me success. They don't gurantee that I'll be living with a roof over my head, with food and a steady income.

But I don't want to be like my parents, who don't enjoy their job, which they work a lot but get only enough to survive. My mom has to keep her position in order to keep her income, but this is my dad's like, fifth job since I was born, and who has rejected many job offers, though could gurantee him a lot of money in the future didn't give him the money he needed right then for my family.

And then back to the friends thing, all of them wanted jobs that could make a difference in the world. Me? I'm here writing this blog post because I'm just super confused. I'm barely managing a 3.6 GPA in school right now, with a B in English teetering off the edge to a C, with the semester almost over I'm just trying to survive and finish high school at the top of my class but I'm afraid I can't do that. And that if I don't I won't be able to go to college, and I'll end up getting a deadbeat job like my parents.

I know. I'm in high school, and have a few years to decide but I'm just afraid if I don't make up my mind now, I'll end up even worse then my parents and wind up under a bridge somewhere.