User blog:Ensoka/I don't know why I'm still here

I'm not needed for Korean songs, there are plenty of other editors for Chinese, and God knows how "horrible" I am at Japanese songs. I make mistakes like everybody else, however I've made these little hiccups so many times I've got an admin on my butt non-stop.

Literally, I made five song pages in Japanese. One of them, whose lyrics were taken from the Lyrics Wikia, were incorrect. And because I published that page here unaware it had inaccurate lyrics I'm being threatened with a block.

I feel like I'm being treated like some troll who's deliberately messing up. Sorry for not being so good at Japanese, but nobody else is going after these pages so I figured I'd try my hand.

Now that I know I basically suck at it, and I'm just some annoying teen who doesn't know anything, I'm ready to go. People are rude and mean and have no respect for each other, especially when you make a mistake.

Make more than one and you're basically screwed. Because we're not allowed to be learning. We all have to be professionally trained and fluent in everything, and even if we're semi-fluent and mess thigns up it's not okay.

I'm sorry for posting this junk, but I've been feeling real down on my luck lately and it's a crummy way to feel. I want to help but if I'm not wanted then I'll go. It's not like I've made 90% of the Korean song pages, or gone and scrounged up English songs for VOCALOIDs nobody cared to check for, or Spanish songs, or Italian or Portuguese.

Not like I went and checked for all the demo songs and added the ones that I could.

None of that was important, I guess, because I can't read kanji well and I apparently need hearing aids.

I'm not sure if you've noticed, but I'm just a touch frustrated, both with myself and the VOCALOID community as a whole. This is quickly turning into a place that I don't like, no matter how much I enjoy VOCALOID and want to make music of my own, one day.

I'll probably edit this out later, but I just felt the need to get these feelings out there because I've been feeling incredibly bottled up.