Calalini

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Background[]

"Calalini" is a song featuring Kaai Yuki by Crusher. The original version was based on the real life case about Jani Schofield who, as a young girl, was misdiagnosed with childhood-onset schizophrenia. Her parents, Susan and Michael Schofield, claimed that Jani had over 200 hallucinations which come from her hallucinated island "Calalini". This song was made to show awareness of childhood onset schizophrenia.

The original lyrics contain mental illness themes and should be viewed at your own risk.

Controversy[]

After Jani's parents discovered the song in early March 2013, they contacted the producer and collaborated with her to create a line of tank tops, T-shirts and sweaters to raise money for the foundation. The line, at Jani's request, features Crusher's interpretation of 24 Hours (one of Jani's hallucinations). Crusher later stated that they did not make nor expect to make any money off of the project.^[1]^[2]

At some point, Crusher did not keep contact with the family, but did have Michael Schofield, the father of Jani, as a friend on Facebook. However, due to inappropriate topics and issues regarding him and a woman, Crusher realized this was not a good situation to be in and blocked all parties involved. They did not wish to be involved with the Schofields again.^[2]

In March 2017, Michael was quoted to a tumblr post stating that he did not find the song insulting nor glamorizing. Although there were some inaccuracies about how the hallucinations were presented.^[3]

In August 2017 the producer stated that there would be a rewrite of the song using Kaai Yuki V4 as they hated the lyrics of the original and remembered that Planty-P (a controversial POCALOID user) did the mixing for the original.^[4] This version is found on the "CONCIENTIA" album. Crusher later apologized for its inclusion to the album as they explained that they wanted the chance to rewrite it into something better. However, they acknowledged that no matter how many times they may try to rewrite it, the original context and connotations would always be a part of it.^[5] It was later removed in the free upload of the album via Crusher's website, but streaming services featuring the album will still contain it. This is due to Crusher not having any control nor rights over the album.^[2] Like the claim regarding profit from the project and apparel merchandise, Crusher made no profit through the album either.^[6]

In 2019, it was revealed that Jani Schofield was not schizophrenic and that her symptoms were manufactured, induced and encouraged by her parents, Susan and Michael, who would doctor shop for medication with which to drug their daughter with. Jani no longer takes medication and acknowledges that she is not schizophrenic. Unfortunately, due to Michael and Susan's abuse and because she was heavily medicated for most of her life, Jani was emotionally and developmentally stunted. Jani now lives in a group home for developmentally delayed girls, where she is receiving an education and appropriate care.

Succeeding versions[]

Remastered ver.

Featuring	Kaai Yuki V4
Producers	Crusher
Categories	Succeeding versions; remastered
Description	This version is found on the "CONCIENTIA" album.

Lyrics[]

On the border of your world and mine
Is a prominent universe called Calalini
It's my island of dark paradise
So not every day is a vacation for me

Ah, I don't understand four hundred
Why do these people have to die?
Ah, I don't understand Wednesday...
Why do you hurt me? What have I done?

I don't know any place I can hide
From the voices that are tearing me apart inside.
Why do these demons invade my mind?
I can't escape from the monsters that eat me alive

Why, oh why, does Calalini have to be my Paradise Lost?
My nightmare in heaven?
Why, oh why, does Calalini have to be my home at loss?
My heart feels so heavy.
Calalini, Calalini, Cala Cala Calalini,
Calalini, Calalini, Cala Cala Calalini,
Calalini, Calalini, Cala Cala Calalini,
Calalini, Calalini,
Can someone please come and save me?

On the border of insanity,
I can't make the screaming stop I have to keep scratching.
It's my world of constant agony.
It's my personal, very real hell to me.

Ah, I don't understand, Sycamore...
Why do these people have to cry?
Ah, I don't understand, 24 hours...
Why am I the only one who sees?

I don't know any place I can hide
From the voices that are tearing me apart inside.
Why do these demons invade my mind?
I can't escape from the monsters that eat me alive.

Why, oh why, does Calalini have to be my Paradise Lost?
My nightmare in heaven?
Why, oh why, does Calalini have to be my home at a lost?
My heart feels so heavy.
Calalini, Calalini, Cala Cala Calalini,
Calalini, Calalini, Cala Cala Calalini,
Calalini, Calalini, Cala Cala Calalini,
Calalini, Calalini,
Can someone please come and save me?

It's safe to say that I'm never alone,
I can't be alone.
They won't leave me alone,
Alone, alone, alone, alone, alone, alone

PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE!

I don't know any place I can hide,
From the voices that are tearing me apart inside.
Why do these demons invade my mind?
I can't escape from the monsters that eat me alive

Why, oh why, does Calalini have to be my Paradise Lost?
My nightmare in heaven?
Why, oh why, does Calalini have to be my home at a loss?
My heart feels so heavy.

I don't know any place I can hide
From the voices that are tearing me apart inside.
Why do these demons invade my mind?
I can't escape from the monsters that eat me alive

Why, oh why, does Calalini have to be my Paradise Lost?
My nightmare in heaven?
Why, oh why, does Calalini have to be my home at a loss?
My heart feels so heavy.

Calalini, Calalini, Cala Cala Calalini,
Calalini, Calalini, Cala Cala Calalini,
Calalini, Calalini, Cala Cala Calalini,
Calalini, Calalini, Cala Cala Calalini,

Calalini, Calalini, Cala Cala Calalini,
Calalini, Calalini, Cala Cala Calalini,
Calalini, Calalini, Cala Cala Calalini,
Calalini, Calalini, Cala Cala Calalini,

On the border of your world and mine
Is a nation unseen to the outsider's eye
"Look, don't touch" is the anthem they cry
As they look down in pity, safe from the outside

Everybody outside is living
Having a good time, the world goes round
Everybody outside is laughing
Having a great time, while here I drown

I don't know any place I can hide
From the voices that are screaming at me to survive
Why do these demons invade my mind?
I can't escape from the monster eating me alive

Why oh why, did understanding calalini take me so long?
(Let's try next time)
My oh my, look how the meaning of my words were so wrong
(To read between the lines)

Calalini, Calalini, cala cala Calalini,
Calalini, Calalini, cala cala Calalini,
Calalini, Calalini, cala cala Calalini,
Calalini, Calalini, cala cala Calalini,
Calalini, Calalini, cala cala Calalini

Somewhere weaved in these meaningless words
(Are you looking? Can't you see the monster that devours me?)
Was a painting intended to match all the blurs
(Are you worried? Do you care?)
Smile wide so the people can see
(MBPS, living in fear)
Just how beautifully tragic this life is for me

Everybody outside is living
(Everyone is living)
Having a good time, the world goes round
Everybody outside is laughing
(Everyone is laughing)
Having a great time, here while I drown

I don't know any place I can hide
From the voices that are screaming at me to survive
Why do these demons invade my mind?
I can't escape from the monster eating me alive

Why oh why, did understanding calalini take me so long?
(Why, why does calalini)
(Did you catch that?)
My oh my, look how the meaning of my words were so wrong
(If not, let's go back)

Calalini, Calalini, cala cala Calalini,
Calalini, Calalini, cala cala Calalini,
Calalini, Calalini, cala cala Calalini,
Calalini, Calalini, cala cala Calalini,
Calalini, Calalini, cala cala Calalini

It's safe to say that I'm never alone,
I can't be alone.
They won't leave me alone,
Alone, alone, alone, alone, alone, alone
Please leave me alone!

I don't know any place I can hide
From the voices that are screaming at me to survive
Why do these demons invade my mind?
I can't escape from the monster eating me alive

Why oh why, did understanding calalini take me so long?
(Did you catch that?)
My oh my, look how the meaning of my words were so wrong
(If not, let's go back)

I don't know any place I can hide
From the voices that are screaming at me to survive
Why do these demons invade my mind?
I can't escape from the monster eating me alive

Why oh why, did understanding calalini take me so long?
(Did you catch that?)
My oh my, look how the meaning of my words were so wrong
(If not, let's go back)

Calalini, Calalini, cala cala Calalini,
Calalini, Calalini, cala cala Calalini,
Calalini, Calalini, cala cala Calalini,
Calalini, Calalini, cala cala Calalini,

Calalini, Calalini, cala cala Calalini,
Calalini, Calalini, cala cala Calalini,
Calalini, Calalini, cala cala Calalini,
Calalini, Calalini, cala cala Calalini

Other media appearances[]

Discography[]

This song was featured in the following albums:

CONCIENTIA (remastered version)

Derivatives[]

byBibo's French cover ft. LEON

Featuring	LEON
Producers	byBibo (MIDI edit, mixing, illust, video), Crusher (VSQ)
Categories	VOCALOID Cover; Alternative Language

Purpled's cover ft. LEON

Featuring	LEON
Producers	Purpled (tuning)
Categories	VOCALOID Cover

SuruatCisum's cover ft. Hatsune Miku

Featuring	Hatsune Miku V3 English
Producers	SuruatCisum (tuning), Crusher (VSQx)
Categories	VOCALOID Cover

Deco's Japanese cover ft. Kagamine Rin

Featuring	Kagamine Rin
Producers	Deco (Japanese lyrics, VSQ edit, tuning)
Categories	VOCALOID Cover; Alternative Language

ShionNezumi's Spanish cover ft. Kaai Yuki

Featuring	Kagamine Rin
Producers	ShionNezumi (tuning, Spanish lyrics), utaukappasensei2 (WAVs)
Categories	VOCALOID Cover; Alternative Language

Tsume-Kuma's Japanese cover ft. Nekomura Iroha

Featuring	Nekomura Iroha
Producers	Tsume-Kuma (tuning), Deco (VSQx edit, Japanese lyrics)
Categories	VOCALOID Cover; Alternative Language

burukiki's cover ft. CUL

Featuring	CUL
Producers	burukiki (tuning), Crusher (VSQx)
Categories	VOCALOID Cover

XxHakumixX's Japanese cover ft. IA

Featuring	IA
Producers	XxHakumixX (tuning), Deco (VSQx edit, Japanese lyrics)
Categories	VOCALOID Cover; Alternative Language

Maniluz Sketches's Japanese cover ft. Sasara

Featuring	Sato Sasara
Producers	Maniluz Sketches (tuning)
Categories	CeVIO Cover; Alternative Language

Calalini MANGA Remix

Featuring	Kaai Yuki
Producers	JOSHUA M4N6A
Categories	Remix

The Dark Island (Calalini Remix 2013)

Featuring	Kaai Yuki
Producers	Deville (arrangement)
Categories	Remix

CRT✰'s Live action

Featuring	Kaai Yuki
Producers	CRT✰
Categories	Live Action

Gallery[]

References[]

External links[]

Official[]

MP3 Download and Instrumental — MediaFire

Unofficial[]

VOCALOID Lyrics Wiki
Musixmatch- Remastered lyrics source

[1] ttps://x.com/CCrusherr/status/1371322023746576392

[2021statement-2] 2.0 ^2.1 ^2.2 https://www.twitlonger.com/show/n_1srkcro

[3] ttps://diirtybirds.tumblr.com/post/158680168366/

[4] ttps://x.com/CCrusherP/status/901861182012882951

[5] ttps://crusher-p.tumblr.com/post/181931495493/id-like-to-apologize

[6] ttps://x.com/CCrusherr/status/1371286023347470337

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